Friday, February 18, 2011

My Truth

I've been feeling irritated as of late. Like I just can't keep it all together. Perhaps it's The Boy who has come down with his 989th cold of the season. Perhaps it's the dreary weather we've been having. Maybe it's our own lack of daily rhythm since we've returned back from vacation.

You see, here's the thing Internet. As much as I would like to portray myself to the world as a Super Mom, I'm simply not able to keep up. I'd like to don my cape and fight wayward laundry and dirty dishes all the while creating a charming craft, keep my Etsy store stocked and create a nutritious and healthy meal from scratch for my family each evening. But this is my truth:

And there's more where that came from. Photos I'm not willing to share yet, lest you feel the need to contact CPS about the state of my dirty home. Laundry unwashed. Floors unswept. Beds not made. And don't even get me started on the garage.

And here's a secret. Sometimes, when I need to take a picture for my blog - I simply move the mess from one spot to another. You know. To give the appearance of a spotlessly clean space!

Fellow bloggers, I'm in need of some support. And maybe even a little truth telling of your own. Are your homes really as neat and tidy as you portray them? Do you really bake that bread every day from scratch? Is your craft area neatly organized and labeled? Do you truly make your beds every. single. day?

Because I don't. And I'm feeling the guilt of a stay at home mama who doesn't really have it all together. Breakfast this morning? A sliced pear, Crystal Lite, and left over Mac and Cheese. There. I said it. I did not make pancakes, french toast, or steel cut oats for breakfast today.

I'll still use this space to journal all the beautiful things in my home, my family, my life. I don't need a daily visual reminder of the chaos that all too often resides in my kitchen or laundry room on the internet. When I'm old and gray (actually I'm already gray) I'll want to be able to use this space and focus on all the things I got right. The crafts, the love, the trips, the memory making, the attachment parenting. But I'm feeling a little raw today. A little undone by those dishes sitting in my sink and my own lack of motivation to wash them. I'd rather sit on the couch with The Boy and read.

Simple Mama


  1. Reading to the boy on the couch is so much more important than the dishes anyway! I hear you, mama. We have so, so many days like that here too (hence the job-quitting). I try to focus on the positive as well, and when we're having a rough day, it really lifts my spirits to see the calm, sweet moments that I've documented. I'm with you though, sometimes it seems like everyone else in this blogosphere *never* has those moments. ;)

  2. i think this is everyone's truth. it's part of being a mama....trying to juggle it all. the dishes will ALWAYS be there!! but your little won't be little for long. my house is messier than i would like. sometimes it stresses me out. i strive to take deep breaths and let it go more often. it benefits my children far more for me to be present with them (or to have some much needed mommy down time) than to keep the kitchen spotless. you are doing a wonderful job mama!!! xoxo

  3. I feel ya. Some days I can barely walk in my house and my feet stick to the floor more than I want to admit. :) Scroll down to the Michael mosquito picture in this post and you will see what my house looks like on a daily basis! Takes a lot to keep up on it and some days I don't want to! So we don't. We craft and read and do it later. :)

  4. Sweetie, we are all in the same boat. You are way "To Hard" on yourself.

    I have dishes in my sink right now, am I worried about it, Heck No. I've been making cards and posting to my Etsy store.

    You sit and read all you want to and enjoy life, no need to worry about those dishes or laundry. I have a hamper full of laundry, I'll get to it when I get to it. Live your life like their is no tomorrow.

    Your Etsy shop is beautiful, just added you to my Circles. I love those little felted Acorns. Your work is gorgeous so don't be to hard on yourself, I see you have lots of sales and should be proud of yourself. But yes I do get days just like you. Take care

  5. I am absolutely there with you. My kitchen is currently a mess, but I will take pride in the fact that our pizza tomorrow night is homemade from scratch even though we had sandwiches on store bought bread this morning. And the floors have not been vacuumed all week, but we did paint, made play dough and stomped in the melting snow outside. Those are the things my daughter will remember, not the fact that the floor isn't vacuumed. At least that's what I hope.

  6. Sit on the couch and read to that boy. Important work, that is.

    I'm currently sitting on the sofa while my little one is napping. I'm not clearing the table from lunch, I'm not running laundry down to the basement. We all need time to sit, rest, rejuvenate. The dishes can wait. The beds needn't be made (they're just going to get unmade, after all). But we must take care of ourselves and our little ones.

  7. We all feel that way, some more often than others. I've learned to try to let most of it go.

    Thankfully I have a husband and daughter who do the cooking and the dishes everyday. I don't cook, hardly at all. I'm responsible for breakfast everyday, but it is usually an english muffin, bagel or cereal. My husband does lunches and dinners.

    I very rarely craft with my children, although they love it when we do. (We made your paper-mache candle holders last weekend!) I do try to bake with them at least once a month.

    I've learned to put less expectations on myself and my kids. If they get bathed once or twice a week, get fed 3 times a day, have clean clothes available and someone to read them a story, life is good!

    My sore spot is laundry. I have to have it washed and folded or else I feel out of sorts. When I'm having a bad day I can take care of the laundry and everything feels so much better.

  8. Isn't it amazing the unique camera angles you can get by avoiding to show what life is really like. The couch with the boy is the most important thing. If Internet were to shut down would it matter if your blog world was perfect or the etsy convo was complete. I completely understand the pull hugs it's hards to do everything!

  9. Waahay!! Thank gawd! She's normal! Like wot I is! :D

  10. My babies are all grown up an are now Mommies themselves but when they were small I had a needlepoint hanging in my living room that said..
    Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
    for babies grow up we have learned to our sorrow.
    So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
    It helped to keep things in perspective. You are doing the right thing sitting on the couch reading to your boy.

  11. You mean I'm not the only blogger who moves their mess out of view when taking a picture? ;)

    I think with blogging, people show glimpses of "perfect moments" in their lives when the house is clean, the kids are smiling and everything is a-ok. You end up looking around your own home life thinking "what do they have that I don't?!" I'm just coming to realize that no one's home is perfect all the time, just for fleeting moments... as a picture is being taken.

  12. Ok...I DO make my bed everyday cuz it's a pet peeve of mine (and I'm slightly OCD ;-) )

    But THAT being said...

    I have 4 grown up babies now (including a set of twins!) and guess what? This baby raising, house cleaning, supper making gig is HARD! But not, of course, without its benefits!

    This too shall pass! Do what you can and remember that the special moments you spend with your wee ones will be remembered whilst the number of times you did laundry and had a spotless kitchen will not.

    And another mother would never judge you! We KNOW what it's like!

    Huge huggles!

  13. I love you and this is the best blog you have ever posted. I hope you post more.

    I rearrange for photos too. lol.

  14. I really appreciated this post, and you are not alone! It takes a lot of courage and humility to admit that we cannot nor should not want to do it all. How, then, would anything be special? I wrote a while ago about being all stressed out while making bread one day, snapping at my kids as I worked. Forget that, they will remember my kindness more, and they like store bought bread anyway.

  15. You are totally cracking me up. Esp the bit about the steel cut oats! I don't think I need to tell you about the scary corners of my home, you've seen 'em :) And yes, I slide the "piles" over for photos all the time. Everyone does. I thought that was a given. o easy on yourself mama. All that matters is that you are nurturing your family and yourself, who cares what other people think? I sure don't :)

  16. I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from! Looks exactly like my house, in fact, there are dishes in my sink right now but I am instead working on a MOPS craft and homemade play dough recipes ;) My bed is rarely made, my laundry is always behind and you could eat off my kitchen floor, meaning that there is enough dropped food there for an entire meal! But, my kids are loved, played with and learning fun stuff so that's what counts! I have not blogged in ages because I am so overwhelmed that I feel like it's just one more thing. Maybe you have inspired me to at least try to fit that back in...

  17. I can totally relate. The book "Sidetracked Home Executives" by Pam Young and Peggy Jones changed my life recently. I am still working on getting their system working for my home. It is an old book, but still relevant. In fact my mother gave it to me because it is what she used when we were kids. It is also hilarious, written by two women who were self proclaimed slob sisters. Best of luck to you! And it always more important to spend time with your little ones then clean house!

  18. I'm not a stay at home mom, a mom, or even a wife. But I never feel like I have it all together.

    I do, however, have a solution for your steel cut oats issue. Steel cut oats can be made using the overnight method, which makes your active time about five minutes. So it goes as follows:

    Grab your oats. Melt some butter in a saucepan. Stick in the oats. Fry them up a bit. Add 3x the water as you did oats to the pan. Toss in a pinch of salt too, while you're at it. Oh, and your dried fruit (I use cherries). This is the time to add that too (unless you're using dried mulberries. If you're using those, for the love of God don't add them until right before you serve it). Bring it all to a boil. Boil it for one minute. One. That's it. Cover with a lid and walk away from that puppy.

    In the morning, uncover the oats. Toss in the sugar, spices, or whatever you like in there (I usually go with a touch of brown sugar, some maple syrup, almond extract and vanilla extract unless I'm making a savoury version. I recommend against mint extract. Seriously.). Stir it up. Heat it up, stirring, until it's warmed through and your sugar is melted. Serve.